Friends Friday Talking Taboo with Lily Harlem

Welcome the lovely Lily Harlem to Friends Friday today, she’s talking taboos!


Thank you, Victoria for inviting me to Friend’s Friday, it’s great to be here, so let’s pull up a seat, put the kettle on and chat taboo!

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I have been thinking a lot about taboo subjects in erotic romance as I have a new dark BDSM trilogy hitting the virtual shelves at Amazon that touches on some pretty edgy stuff. Sexy as Hell is co-written with Natalie Dae – we write under the pen name Harlem Dae – and consist of three novels, The Virgin, The Player and The Vixen.


As an author I’m familiar with the taboo list publishers flash up on their websites. There are just some things that don’t yank their chains and they don’t and won’t go there. Of course it’s not just the publishers who don’t want this content, their distributors don’t either! Sexy as Hell is self-published, so we had some leeway, a chance to let the story go it’s own way, but still, we respected ‘the list’.


Haven’t seen a taboo list? Here is an example taken from the Total-E-Bound submission page.

NO paedophilia – Don’t even dare go there! NO rape as titillation – We accept that it may sometimes be used as part of a plotline, especially supporting character development, but definitely not for the use of getting your rocks off! NO bodily functions – i.e. watersports, toilet play – eeeew! NO necrophilia – The dead definitely don’t do it for us – of course, we don’t count the bloodsucking undead variety! NO bestiality – This does not apply to shape-shifters and might not apply to certain breeds from a sci-fi perspective.

I should point out that I’m happy to avoid the subjects on this list and although That Filthy Book pushes the boundaries of the second taboo subject (It does come with a reader warning) I steer clear.

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However today I’m going to pick on one of these subjects to chat about today – watersports.

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I’m not into it, never tried it, can’t imagine I ever will but last year Natalie and I were playing around with a manuscript – Anything For Him and it came very near to being part of a scene. It was a dirty degrading scene about a girl living out a slut fantasy. She was having a great time being used and abused and having orgasm after orgasm, but when she was about to be pee’d on it was just a step too far. She called a halt to the whole thing with her safeword – which is of course what they are for.

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It left me thinking though, what if instead of it being a dirty scene, the watersport was part of the fun. Clearly some people enjoy it otherwise we wouldn’t be talking about it. I’m an author, I make stuff up all the time, fiction is my world as is empathizing and figuring out the emotions of my characters. So what is it that gets people off about peeing on each other?

There is clearly much more involved than the physical act of urinating. There must be so much tension and anticipation in the build up. Perhaps it could be a treat or reward for a Dom or sub. The span of plot lines are wide. The pee-scene could be humiliating and degrading or a gratefully received anniversary surprise. Depending on the context and the characters the watery moment could be great fun or dark and edgy. It gets right to the very core of a relationship, playing with psychological, emotional and of course physical aspects.

I recently read Not Her Type by Kay Jaybee and she handles a golden shower scene in this novel with great skill.

I’m not saying I’m about to add a golden shower into every book I write, and it’s true you have to delve deep to find watersport fiction out there. But as a writer I can’t help the way my mind wanders into these complex corners of human behavior and ponders the ‘what-if’s’ for a little while. If you pick up Sexy as Hell you’ll find that Natalie and I have definitely pondered ‘what if’s’ and pushed some boundaries. Not only that, we learnt our own limits, what we could and couldn’t write about when it came to the hero and heroine getting naked and inventive.


Do share your thoughts on any of the taboo subjects, I’d love to hear them.

Lily x

Sexy as Hell Blurb

Sexy as Hell: an erotic trilogy that will submerge you into the black heart of a world of bondage and discipline, Dominance and submission, sadism and masochism.

Dare to take this twisting journey with Victor and you’ll learn the ropes with him, experience every carnal sensation and fall into a dark and dangerous love that grips like a fist and binds like a collar.

Get to know Zara, his sultry teacher, and you’ll gasp when she doles out her sinful instructions but then delight in the stunning results she not only demands but achieves. It seems Heaven and Hell are not so far apart when she holds the reins.

Victor has his layers peeled back, but when he does the same to try to get to his Vixen’s core, a revelation appears. Because Zara is a woman whose vast sexual experience is both her strength and her weakness; she can inflict pain and pleasure, make lusty demands and instruct, but she needs so much more, she needs…

Yes, the time has come to for her to admit to her needs and confess to the repairing her soul hungers for. A sea of memories, a lifetime of control requires an acknowledgement that will cut through her barriers, and there’s only one man up for the job—her virgin, her student, her newly trained monster, Victor Partridge.