Please welcome Felix Baron today, he’s being interviewed and has a fab joke I know you’re going to love! First here’s his bio:
Now on with the show!
What part of the writing process do you dread?
When, after the novel is published, I realize that on page 73, line 4, where I wrote, ‘caressed,’ ‘fondled’ would have been a better word.
List your top three pet peeves.
Ads that multiply comparatives, as in ‘two times faster’ where they mean ‘twice as fast.’
What is your favourite Joke?
St Pete was looking down from a celestial balcony, shaking his head and tut-tuting.
Big G asked, ‘What’s the matter, Pete?’
‘Those humans. They know you’re against oral sex but half the adults are still doing it.’
‘Sixty-two point eight percent,’ G corrected, ‘but what can I do?’
Pete suggested, ‘Fire? Pestilence? A plague?’
‘I’ve tried those before and they’ve never worked.’ G paused to think. ‘I know, every adult who doesn’t indulge in oral sex for the next full month, I’ll give them a reward. I’ll make it a gold watch with a message from me engraved on the back.’
And so it came to pass. The month was last August.
Do you know what the message engraved on the backs of the watches was?
I credit Isaac Asimov for this one.
Tell us about your latest release.
It’s from Mischief. Constance is a very libidinous young lady who indulges herself in every respect but one. She was brought up to be modest about showing herself and can’t shake the conditioning, so she’ll do most anything, in the dark, under the sheets, but won’t show her knees. This hang-up breaks up her love affair so she resolves to overcome her inhibition. Little by little, she becomes more and more of an exhibitionist, until it’s her major fetish. Of course, she reunites with her voyeur boyfriend and they live happily ever after.
What have you got coming soon for us to look out for?
The Secret Lives of Wanda Mitty.
Again, a Mischief novel. Wanda is engaged to a mysterious billionaire who she is told is very conventional. There is conflict between her inner wildness and the uptight personality she is compelled to fake. This inhibition leads her to fantasize the most extreme sexual scenarios so vividly that she becomes confused about where her erotic daydreams end and dull reality begins.
I’m sure that your savvy readers will be able to guess the ending, but it’s the journey that counts, right?
It’s due for release in April.
Where do you get your best ideas?
While reading or watching TV. A line of dialogue or a facial expression, or a pretty leg, can send my imagination flying off into the wild blue yonder.
What do you do to relax?
I live with erotica writer, the beautiful Madeline Moore. Does that answer your question?
Do you write about what turns you on?
Yes, but I also cater to my readers, as best I can. For example, I’m not into MMW scenes, but my lady fans often are, so I try not to deny them that.
If we were to come to your house for a meal, what would you give us to eat?
Oh boy! I’m the cook and I’m eclectic. Like a lot of men, I like a bloody steak with all that goes with it, but I’m just as likely to serve a prime rib, something Chinese, a curry or, on occasion, Mexican. I have a lovely recipe for carrot soup that I concocted myself, if you can believe it.
Do you prefer hot or cold weather and why?
Hot. I live in Canada.
Are you a romantic?
I suppose I am. I try to be polite. I open doors for ladies, and pull their chairs back for them and believe in all the courtesies, and in HEA, which really can happen. It has for me.
Do you listen to music when you’re writing?
No. When I write, I’m deaf. In fact, if someone speaks to me, I have to clear my throat before I can answer. This craft requires concentration.
Do you ever read your stories outloud?
What are your future ambitions?
Madeline and I are both also screenwriters, so an Oscar is the ultimate goal.