Now, a little while ago I wrote How to Woo a V, the essential guide on how to handle me and get the play you want. In it I mentioned how I wanted to be wooed, essentially to take away any doubts I’d have a cut down on my worrying.
Since then, I’ve realised something. I need to be willing to woo too. It’s not that I’m against it. I’m a fairly natural flirter, though not naturally a smooth one. I will throw away flirtatious comments here and there but I realise I need to do a bit more than that.
How has this realisation come about? Well, one of my aims for 2019 is to do at least 1 brave thing a week. And I’m managing quite well. Actually writing how to Woo a V was one of those brave things, linking it in my fetlife profile another.
Another brave thing has been approaching someone I have fancied from afar for play. It didn’t go as smoothly as I would have liked, but it did work, I’m happy to say. Due to reasons, play can’t happen for a while (boo) it’s a good job I enjoy anticipation.
So in the meantime, I’m flirting.
Now, actively showing my interest to said person set off a train of thought in my brain. And it’s so stupidly obvious, I don’t know why I didn’t realise it before. I love it when I’m flirted with. I adore a compliment, I am completely won over by a cute pun and I love it when someone shows they’re interested in me.
So maybe, others would appreciate me flirting with them.
I know, it’s a really simple realisation. I have self-esteem issues though. So I tend to worry that I will be imposing on someone, that my flirting would be off-putting. Unless I’m in the moment and the flirting just happens, I overthink it to hell and not back. I leave it there and decide against it.
Silly really. Because actually, evidence shows that my flirting is appreciated. And if it’s not, then I can flirt elsewhere. The people I love will treat me with respect. If they don’t want my flirting, they’ll tell me so in a way that isn’t mean. If it’s someone I don’t yet really know, well, there’s no use getting hung up on their reactions, right?
Oh God, overthinking is a real burden at times. I’m trying, desperately trying to not do that so much. Because it holds me back. Stops me from doing things/saying things. I want to experience more and more of life. I want to feel free. Free from my own chains of self-doubt and ridiculous imaginings.
So I’m flirting more. With established play partners and potential ones. I’m a bit cheesy in my flirtations but genuine. I don’t wanna be sleazy, unless invited, so I feel keeping it cute is a good way to go.
I’ve had some positive reaction already. Mutual flirting has been a go. Yay! And it feels good to make someone else feel good. Who doesn’t want to hear that someone thinks they’re cute/sexy/all kinds of marvellous?
And maybe, just maybe, this flirting might lead to more play and even, if I’m lucky, some sexy fun.
I’ll keep you abreast of the situation!