Well, I don’t do New Year Resolutions, clearly as this is the first time I’ve posted this and it’s already February, but I have been thinking. Which is pretty dangerous, I know. I’ve decided to aim to write a blog post every week about my spiritual walk.
I’m sure you know I’m a Christian and I write erotica and erotic romance. It’s a thing. It’s something that the erotica writing world has accepted with no trouble at all but I am currently between churches because well,I’m not feeling welcome.
I’ve been going to church since I was little. I was christened as a little’un and went to church with my mum when I was small. I didn’t like it much, so I stopped going for a bit when I was only 4 or 5 and ended up going to another church with a friend from school. My mum soon started at that one too and my sister and we spent the next 15 years at that church together.
When I met my now hubby I moved to Birkenhead to be with him. I spent another bit of time between churches then spent a pleasant few years at the Salvation Army that met at the bottom of my road (They were in a building, not just at the end of the road. ;) ). That was when I was pregnant with Boo and we attended there until she was a toddler. I was writing my smutty stories at this time, but they weren’t published at all and it was just a little hobby I was happy to keep to myself.
We moved again, back closer to my mum, and I started at a church close by. I loved the church, so did my daughter. Met loads of really great people and I got very involved. I sang in the choir, was part of the PCC, a Sunday school teacher and an attender of house group/prayer meetings and the whole shebang. I loved it. I kept my published erotica writing life to myself. I told one lady, she was totally accepting and had asked about it. Otherwise I kept schtum. Basically because I didn’t think it was the right place to mention it. I’ve changed my mind on that now and looking back I was naive thinking I could keep them separate and that was okay.
When I accidentally came out to my vicar and consequently got myself kicked off a specific church governing board (click here for that story) I decided enough was enough and with heavy heart I had to leave.
I started at another local church soon after that. Another Church of England actually, but merely by co-incidence. The vicar there was the loveliest lady and she was very welcoming of me. I told her what I wrote, because I didn’t want it to be a surprise and it made no difference to her. Though she told me not to tell the rest of the church. So when said vicar moved on, I found myself back to living a lie in the one place in the world I should have been most myself. So slowly, I’ve pulled away. I’ve not been to church for months now.
I don’t subscribe to the school of thought that says you’ve got to go to church to be a good Christian. It’s silly, really. But I’m missing church. I’m missing the social aspect, the support and the singing. So not having church on a Sunday makes me feel…weird. Not having church stuff at Christmas was a sadness for me.
This blog post prompted me to do some looking. Now, I’ve visited all the local churches over the months between leaving one church and settling on the next so I know there’s nowhere within walking distance that is right for me. I do know about churches further away that are accepting. There’s a fabulous organisation called Changing Attitude which “works for the full inclusion of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in the life of the Anglican Communion.” and they’ve got a list of Churches that are accepting of all people.
Now, I admit that’s a little sad. ALL churches should be completely accepting. Jesus was. He constantly shunned the churchy people and spent time with the outcasts of society. But it’s not like that. So I’m very happy to find there’s enough accepting churches in the UK to make a list of them!
I looked at it back when I was changing church. There’s one near (ish) to me called St Agnes and it looks lovely. I emailed the pastor and he was so kind and encouraging and I wanted to go but public transport just didn’t go that way early on a Sunday. It was disappointing.
So today I checked at the same place to see if there were any new churches listed near me. Sadly not but I decided, out of sheer bloody-mindedness to check on the public transport options for getting to St Agnes’s and I can get there now for Sunday Morning Worship, yes!
So I’m incredibly joyful today. I’m going to go to St Agnes’s on Sunday and I’ll let you know how it goes in next week’s weekly walk update.
This aspect of my life is really important to me. I don’t intend to preach but I am open to questions and queries. You can put any questions in the comments below or email them to me using the ’email me’ link up in the top bar. I’m always happy to talk about my faith, so drop me a note. :)