I wish I’d have slutted it up more
But I was to shy
Too doubting
Too straight (I know, but the denial was strong my friends)
Oh why did I hesitate?
Piety, in part.
Pure until marriage
the right thing to do
all that bullshit.
but more so
A conviction no one would ever
Wanna fuck
A fatty like me
But you see
That was all in my head.
The hate,
The dread.
And now I more often see
The beauty within and without me
I go for what I want.
Oh I want to go back in time.
Tell me to get over it.
And under someone hot.
Live while you’re alive.
Spur me on to listen to my cunt more
Where I ignored her
I embrace her wants.
Her ambitions.
Her lusts.
I’m still scared
So scared I’ll miss out
So I try
I ask
I’m brave
Because I will not let anxiety win.
There is so much more for me to do
So many people for me to do
The time to slut it up is now.