Unrequited Lusts #MasturbationMonday

I wish I’d have slutted it up more
But I was to shy
Too doubting
Too straight (I know, but the denial was strong my friends)
Oh why did I hesitate?
Piety, in part.
Pure until marriage
the right thing to do
all that bullshit.
but more so
Fear.
A conviction no one would ever
Wanna fuck
A fatty like me
But you see
That was all in my head.
The hate,
The dread.
And now I more often see
The beauty within and without me
I go for what I want.
Oh I want to go back in time.
Tell me to get over it.
And under someone hot.
Live while you’re alive.
Regrets
Spur me on to listen to my cunt more
Where I ignored her
I embrace her wants.
Her ambitions.
Her lusts.
I’m still scared
So scared I’ll miss out
So I try
I ask
I’m brave
Because I will not let anxiety win.
There is so much more for me to do
So many people for me to do
The time to slut it up is now.