Trembling Heart #masturbationmonday

A trembling heart
filled with want
Wanton desire
Wanted?
That’s the sticky bit.
Self doubt
Shouting
So loud.
Drowning out the sound
Of the beat beat,beat
And the heat
And the ache
And dream
Of what I could have,
What I could be,
What might be achieved,
If I follow
My heart.

Caged up in expectations
Tied down by experiences
Of jeering from without
And within.
Doubting my skin
And the curves of my fat beneath that.
Doubting what I see
Squinting through layers of shame.

My heart
A start, a flicker
And a flame.
The fire of want
Not selfishness
But self confidence.
All that is needed to step out
Step light
Step up
To be true to myself
To love my curves
To embrace my fat.
Because I am that and that is me
And to be free
I need to simply be
Me.
Its not so straight forward
But I made a start
Me and my trembling heart.

Masturbation Monday