What kind of insanity has a couple dragging bags and boxes and banners into Manchester at 7am on a Saturday morning? Smut Manchester of course!

The folks at the Manchester Conference Centre helped get us settled in, sorted out a last minute table snafu and made us smutters welcome. As we set up I found myself smiling. I think it is either a sign that I’m doing something that I love or that I’m completely bonkers…answers on a postcard folks.

I have to admit that things didn’t go to schedule, not at all, not ever in fact. However, we fitted everything in and I don’t think anyone really noticed much, they were too busy having fun. Every time we have one of these events I want to go in each workshop and do everything but I’ve found that doesn’t work so well. I wish I had twice the energy so I could manage it but there you are. Sometimes a woman just needs to sit in relative quiet and take a break.

Other times she’s accosted by nun and made to look at her underwear. Plums, that’s all I’m saying about that.

 

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And don’t ask my sister about the time she let a real Sister style her hair. It ended up like this…

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Yes, that is a pink dildo in her hair. A Sh! Dildo in fact.

 

As always it was the mix of super awesome and smutty people that made the whole event a success. We had workshops from Ashley Lister, Jennifer Denys and Zak Jane Keir which all went down very well, so to speak. I think people got something worthwhile from each one…and from Zak’s a few people got heated arses as a bonus!

Cara Sutra let people get all hands on with her bondage kit and no, that’s not a euphemism. I can confidently say people enjoy this as when I walked in to call time I saw the evidence… that Sister Jacqui is a mischievous nun and a half! However the puppy she had all neatly tied and bound up seemed more than happy with the situation.

 

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Our mate Mel from Voluptasse (the grand sponsor of Smut Manchester!) got people sexy toy reviewing for her workshop, I listened in on a few of them and our smutters are great at a sales pitch.

We enjoyed lots of readings in 3 separate reading slams: Ashe Barker, Lucy Felthouse, K. D. Grace, Cara Sutra, Gemma Parkes, Liv Honeywell and Charlie J Forrest were up in the morning (oo er) and we had smutty poetry, socks (yes really) and fun on public transport as well as a little pre-Christmas treat. I’m always amazed by how varied and totally awesome the readings turn out to be.

 

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In the afternoon we heard from  Melissa MacFarlane, Jennifer Denys, Bella Settarra, Amanda Brobyn, Ashley Lister and Slave Nano who gave a fabulous reading complete with costume and being chased around the room by a zealous Zak Jane Keir!

 

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And to finish off the day our Everyday Kinky  Flash Challenge Champions Etta Stark and Jaye Peaches flashed us and very well they did too!

It was a busy day with two rooms filled with smut. We had the wonderful Erotic Tombola there were some amazing prizes on there. Kev Blisse was the keeper of the tombola box and got several smutters very excited simply by shaking it at them. He’s just that good, folks. There was also  a bookstall manned by the lovely Lucy Felthouse and her other half Ian. The wonderful folk from Segzi came along too and had a table of sexy goodies for the authors to peruse. Misa Buckley wins the clever seller award though, she brought ebooks with her, much lighter than all the paperbacks we dragged along!

 

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Tidying up never takes as long as I think it will thanks to the help of smutastic friends including my sister Sarah, who has become somewhat of a smut feature. She’s a very good door stop and goodie bag giver-outerer. Yes, after 10 hours of constant smutting my word putting togetherer was a bit broke.

Of course the fun didn’t stop there. A determined set of Smutsters headed for the Peking Court for chinese buffet and good conversation. The folks there were wonderfully accommodating,especially as I’d booked for 12 people and turned up with 18!

I was thoroughly exhausted but Mr Blisse and I lay in bed for ages talking about the day and our plans for future smut. We can’t wait for the next one. Who’s coming to Smut Luton on the 7th March? Can’t make that? How about Smut by the Sea (Scarborough?) on the 23rd May? It’s going to be smutastic I can tell you.

And yes, we do have plans for arranging another Smut Manchester for next year, watch this space!