Sex,Kink, Power and Intimacy #QuoteQuest



“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”

~ Oscar Wilde


No. I don’t think it’s as straight forward as that.  An awful lot of things are about sex or at least attraction but I’m not sure sex is about power.

Kink is. BDSM, certainly. They don’t call it power exchange for no reason do they? However for me sex is about intimacy and love. I know that’s not the case for everyone, but for me it is.

Why? Well, we probably haven’t got long enough to delve into that, but I reckon the fact I was brought up Christian factors into it. Find your love and marry them is the message. You need your other half, that special someone to erm, fill your hole.

Yeah, right. I might be sceptical of that now but I was brought up looking for it and with my inclination towards romance. Well, no wonder sex and love got all entwined in my mind. And honestly, everything in my life is about love. Cut me open and that’s what you’ll find. Love.

So when it comes to sex, not just kink, I have to have a really strong link with the person I’m fucking. I’ve yet to achieve casual sex and I’m not sure I’ll ever be capable of it, but never say never, eh? I am learning new things all the time after all.

I don’t know how though. I need a connection to even think about getting sexy with a person. I mean, read back over my posts and you’ll see there are far more people I kink with than I sex with. Some of that is their decision, of course, but generally I have an ability to share BDSM with people different ways. Light and friendly, serious and sensual, brutal and competitive or a mix up of them all. Of course I love the people I play with, I love them all and my play is about love.

But I only give so much when I play that way. I hold back a lot.

Sex is intimate. Sex is loving, even when it’s kinky and dirty and the right kind of nasty. I’m letting someone in. I’m giving of me in a way that is naked and raw and beautiful.

And I suppose there is power there. It’s a powerful act, being so vulnerable,giving so freely, so deeply.  Also taking. To receive pleasure and and lust, desire and love is a powerful submission whether it’s D/s or not.  It is a powerful exchange of energy.

I give and I take, an exchange of emotions as well as fluids. A dynamo of energy generating and refilling the soul. Love, it’s so much love. And love is powerful.

So, okay then. Maybe Oscar had it right.

Sort of.

For me though, it’s all about the power of love.



Victoria Blisse

Victoria Blisse is known as the Queen of Smut, Reverend to the kinky and is the Writer in Residence at Cocktails and Fuck Tales. She’s also an angel. Ask anyone. Mancunian Odd Duck, her northern English quirkiness shows through in all of her stories along with her own particular brand of humour and romance that bring laughs and warm fuzzies in equal measure. Passion, love and laughter fill her works, just as they fill her busy life.

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  • I really enjoyed following your thoughts and learning more about your relationships.
    And I have to say, you don’t need to achieve casual sex.
    Only do what makes you happy and feels good.

    • Oh, I know I don’t have to do casual sex, it’s not something I’m going to do if it doesn’t work for me. However, it’s not ruled out completely. Might still happen! Who knows?

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