“Anything for an easy life.”  used to be my motto. When I was younger and far less aware of the privilege that drips off that statement.


I hate confrontation and crave calm and peace. I hate upset and do all I can to soothe. I’m a peacemaker. I compromise, hell I’m the queen of compromise. I will do all I can to make things work.

But now is not the time to be neutral.

Now is not the time to turn my face away.

Now is not the time to pander to egos and privilege.

I’m angry, I’m loud and I’m not apologising for it.


Black Lives Matter

I was glad to see a huge wave of support for the black lives matter protests. I’m glad to say I’m still seeing it too. But still I’m seeing ‘All lives Matter.’ bullshit all over my social media. Old me would have ignored it, sad to say. I’d have excused their behaviour and my response as ‘not really important anyway.’

Whoa Nelly. That there is white privilege. Having the option to scroll on. To not think about the prejudice POC (people of colour) face every damn day.

I’m no hero. But I’m trying to put some of my shitty behaviour right. So I don’t scroll past.

“Until black lives matter, all lives won’t matter.” is my go to response.

It’s often ignored, it gets me blocked a fair bit but sometimes it garners a conversation. And mate, we need to be having those conversations left, right and centre right now. We need to keep pushing against white supremacy and yes, we can do that. Every little comment counts.  We can make the difference.

Now is not the time to be neutral.

Trans Lives Matter

In America and in the UK recently there have been movements that endanger trans lives. I wrote about it in my Trans Lives Matter post recently and then there’s the whole transphobic fuckery in the sex blogging community too, which I also wrote about because I stand with my trans friends.

And we all know Pride started as a riot, right? Begun by Marsha P Johnson a POC trans woman who was not taking any of the shit society handed out to her. That was 1969 and we’re still fighting the same shit today. We’re fighting gay conversion therapy, we’re fighting the horrific process trans people have to go through to be seen as their real selves, we’re fighting for the right for people to use the fucking toilet, people.

Why in heaven’s name can’t people pee in peace?  Honestly, it’s the most god-damn ridiculous thing. And in case I’ve not made it quite clear, I’m talking about trans people here. Not transphobes. If they’ve got a problem with it, they can hold it in until they get home. I’m talking about piss right now, but it counts for their shitty beliefs too.

I’m very vocal about this because it’s my child’s rights we’re talking about here. And yes, that makes it very personal to me. Has your child been spat at for merely existing? Mine has. Has your child wet themselves rather than go to the bathroom because they were scared to go into the bathroom of their gender and scared to go into the bathroom of the gender they were assigned as at birth? Mine has. Has your child been called a disgusting ugly thing by their great uncle? Mine has.

My child faces abuse every single goddamn day simply because of who they are. And that is wrong.

Now is not the time to be neutral.

Now is the time to speak up.

Now is the time to take sides.

Now is the time to make it clear what side you are on.

Because by dithering in the middle your privilege is showing.

And however much you think you’re suffering I can assure you there are others suffering more because of your silence.