Necessary Connection


What is necessary? That thing.

Which always makes me think of one of my favourite comfort movies – Never Been Kissed. If you know why you’re my kind of cool.  But yeah, I’m a fan of mixing it up. One of my mottoes  is ‘Variety is the spice of life’ and that really spans everything. Especially sex. I’m happy to give things a go once and more times if I like it.

You see it a lot when I’m attending various BDSM events. If I see something that looks like it’ll hurt real good then I’m gonna want to have a go at it. My eyes go big and I bounce up and down on my heels and get all giggly and more curious than the most curious of cats.

But as much as I am eager to try it and try it all I’m not going to play unless I have the necessary connection. I have that with my husband, of course, we’ve had it since we met online close to 20 years ago. We simply go together, like lego. My dips are protrusions are in different places but our ideas, desires, thoughts connect together in such a way that it makes us stronger.

And makes the sex fucking awesome.

Yes, yes, I am bragging. :D

We have that thing and it’s what keeps our sex life fresh and exciting. I want to do it all with Kev and then do it some more.

When we’re out at our local dungeons ready to play and have fun we’re both up for experimenting and enjoying ourselves with others but again that connection is needed. It’s not just about how much I trust someone to not hurt me in a way I don’t want, it’s not just about who is very skilled with a certain implement, I also need to feel a connection to the person who’s indulging me in the fun pain I love so much.

It’s not just sexual attraction, it’s different to that. It is a recognition in my soul of another soul who will play beautifully with me. I can’t put my finger on what that connection is precisely. I can’t always predict who I’ll have that with and that is part of the joy.

Connection is necessary. And not just the connection of the paddle and my arse, or the drip of wax on my skin or even the whip crack on my flesh. It’s the connection of spirit, mind and soul with the people I’m playing with.

Life is made better by those connections,  the inspirations, the transformation and evolution of you as you mix with people who ‘get’ you.

That thing is impossible to describe accurately it has to be felt.

Yeah, I couldn’t resist that final pun :p


14 CommentsLeave a comment

Leave a Reply to silverdomuk Cancel Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.