Growing up in the literal house of smut is a little bit different to the run of the mill upbringing. Kit knew that their Mum wrote erotica from a young age, and in their teens often would come home to their parents up to their necks in sex toys. Labeling them up for the Erotic tombola of course!
Please Note: Kit’s pronouns are they/them or he/him and I may swap between the two in my writing!
So back in November when Kit turned 18 years of age we celebrated with a tea party – at Miss T’s. We introduced them to some of our best scene friends because for years they’ve heard us talk about these amazing individuals but only met a few of them.
“Isn’t it awkward?”
Is a question I’ve gotten constantly since the boi turned 18 and jumped into the scene. And I can honestly say no, it’s not. Kit and I have a really close relationship. We tell each other everything. We are besties.
Over the years they’ve asked me questions or told me things about sex and kink and such which have, at that moment, made me feel uncomfortable. However, I’ve gotten over that. I’d much prefer my son talk to me about this stuff, ask me for advice, than feel they have to keep it secret or get the info from less knowledgeable sources.
I had a proud mum moment when they came home from school one day (they were 16 at the time) and asked if they could have some more condoms because they’d given theirs to a couple at school who wanted to have sex but hadn’t thought about contraception. My boi threw the condoms they were carrying at them, gave them a talk about the importance of condom use and I couldn’t have been more proud.
So most of my awkward moments have passed already. They’ve seen my marks, accidentally at first, I’ve seen theirs. We’ve talked about sex toys and kink toys and experiences we’ve had.
Introducing them to munches was easy. It’s just a social meeting, and I know many of the people at them! I can keep an eye on my boi and if they are ever concerned or unhappy they can come to me or their Dad and we’ll make sure they’re okay. And maybe kick some butt if needed.
I’ve had the delight of seeing faces drop when Kit explains their parents are Victoria and Kev Blisse. I mean, I’m not the biggest, scariest meanie out there and neither is Kev but we’re very well known on the scene. Actually, we help run a good chunk of it. So you know, probably best not to get on the wrong side of Family Blisse, eh?
We weren’t sure how we’d react to each other if we were at the same play event. Before we went to one, we agreed to keep out of each other’s way if we were going to play. We decided if it was too uncomfortable to be at the same events, we’d split them between us. We had a plan!
As it is, we’ve been to 4 play events together now, ones where we’ve both played, ones where one of us has and the other hasn’t, and it’s not been a problem at all. I’m glad to be around, actually just in case. I can guide them to people who are good humans to play with and give information on others so they can make up their minds what to do. I’m around if anything goes wrong and I’m around to see my son making friends and connections and become a part of a community I cherish and adore.
I realise it’s not something everyone could do, but I’m glad that I’ve got my Kit on the scene with me now. Seeing them fit in, make friends with our friends, find and have fun play experiences is a good thing. I love that they’re finding a place in the world that Kev and I spend so much of our time in.
I love that you have this relationship with them! Our 14yo is becoming more comfortable asking questions and talking to JB and I about sex, and where I used to feel in control and not at all uncomfortable, I now have moments where it’s difficult because it’s less a conversation on the theory of sex and more the reality. But I get over myself, so that he feels comfortable talking to me.
Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I’ve had the same experience several times. I feel I’d be very hypocritical to be so sex positive in all other aspects of my life and then be all ‘but you, son, don’t do the sex thing because, I can’t cope with you growing up and not being my baby!’ But I’ve had a few times where I’ve found it hard.
It’s sometimes hard to navigate parenting being so open and honest about sex, but I’ve never regretted giving my son information, either. I know he knows more about sex than most of his friends do, but I also know he’ll be better informed and hopefully safer. The added bonus is that he will maybe trust us when things get heavy and he needs help or advice.
Bravo for being such a good mama.
(Though, I’m not sure I could handle being at the same play event.😜)
Thank you! That’s exactly what I think. I’d prefer them to know all the tings and feel comfortable to ask me about the things, than not. Especially with them having an interest in kink. I wanna know they’re doing it safely.
Yeah, I wasn’t sure about play events, but it’s not been a problem so far!
This is amazing, Victoria. I really admire your openness. Your SmuttKit is lucky to have you two as parents.
And I’m sure they’ll go on to have much happier and more fulfilling relationships because of the way you’ve brought them up.