Fantasy. I suppose that’s what I write. Fantasies, escaping into a world of lust and wonder. We all have them. Ones that maybe our lovers know, others that are private and kept to ourselves. Some that may well be a dream come true. I’m happy to say that I have a few of them. Many that have been shared with you here on this blog in fact.
I thought this prompt would be an easy one, it’s an obvious one, but actually I’ve struggled with what to do. I’m not going to write fiction or post a photo. I’m going to get serious. You have been warned!
I’m just going to say that fantasies are okay.
I come from a church background, I still go as often as I can manage and I have a deep and lasting faith. Heck, I’m Rev Blisse these days, ordained in Refreshing ministry. However, the church, at least parts of it, have a really, really, really shitty view on sex, masturbation and sexual fantasies. I remember going on a Christian camping holiday, I was probably 14 at the time. There was a sermon on Masturbation. The guy was saying that it was an addiction and bad because it took away from time you could be praying. To be fair, it didn’t effect me much. I was a late bloomer, Masturbation wasn’t even on my radar. But I remember one of the leaders breaking down in tears and being prayed over.
Because he masturbated.
I started masturbating myself sometime after. I read about it in Just 17 and decided to give it a go. I found out it was pretty damn good thanks! However there was always a little nag of doubt. It might feel fucking amazing but God said sex is bad.
It took longer to work out that God didn’t say that at all. It was just the people repeating years and years of church given birth control. Designed to keep churchgoers in the place, needing weddings, having babies and keeping the churches going. I never burst into flames from masturbating and I was definitely having fantasies to go with the physical action.
Then I met my now husband, had sex before marriage and lots of it, I realised then my relationship with God was no different than before the sex. Sex is good. Spiritual in itself, in fact. A way to reach a higher plain. Divine ecstasy. I’ve been preaching this through my writing, my online interactions and more recently in person ever since.
I’ve had my doubts, I must admit. When I took my fantasies from my brain to paper, I kept questioning if it was something God was happy with. Thankfully, God kept giving me the a OK. Even when I accidentally came out to my vicar of old and I got the whole church judging me because of it, God told me what I was doing was fine. You can read about my Born this Way Epiphany for more details.
So now I pass on that good news. Wank to your heart’s content. Fantasise, it’s good for you. Fuck, it’s amazing. When God created sex, he saw it was good. Sex is good. Don’t feel guilty or at least work at not feeling guilty, I know it’s not easy.
To all those of you who have a faith and struggle with sex, masturbation and fantasies, be reassured I’ve struggled too but don’t let man-made guilt hold you back.
I know this isn’t quite what I anticipated getting inspired to do, but I hope you’ve enjoyed reading my rambles.