Hello and welcome to the first in a series of Blogs about Eroticon #2013. If you want to read my general write up check here. You can never, ever fit everything you want into those kinds of posts, so this series will hopefully highlight many of the great things from the weekend from the point of view of the attendees and not just me!
I’ve decided to title each one Erotica Writers Are… and today’s theme is funny. There were a lot of laughs at Eroticon, here are some of’em!
“Ahhh… so many funny things happened that it’s difficult to choose just one, but I would say that our time at Volupte when Dave the Bear was performing was the funniest. I laughed almost the whole time he was on stage. Such a funny, nice, self-deprecating and yet sexy guy!
In Vena’s talk “Creative Writing 3; A Philosophy of Writing Sex on Twitter, Vena Ramphal”She basically said that sex tweets should be ‘sandwiched’ between other normal tweets so that it doesn’t shock your followers. As sex bloggers who tweet about sex all the time, it amused me and Innocent Lover boy. So this started #sandwichtweets which consist more of bread cheese bread than sex.
To be honest I’m much more of a giggler than a deep thinker. I’m always a little bit in awe of people who procrastinate and produce deep and meaningful responses to every comment and situation. But that’s just not me. I’m much happier having a giggle and taking life as it comes, preferably with a glass of wine, a little smidgen of chocolate and a hunk to admire!
Eroticon 2013 was definitely full of funny moments, from the minute I stepped off the train and met Kay Jaybee to the moment I said goodbye – actually even then there was a funny moment. Travelling home I read the ETO magazine given to me at the conference, in a packed train, not realizing there was a great big advert for pink vibrators on the back outward facing page – whoops!
I hadn’t met Lexie Bay or Tabitha Rayne before, but as soon as we all said hello and grinned I knew that was it, fun o’clock!
One of the first funnies of the weekend was when we were at Volupte and had ordered cocktails. The waiter delivered them and before he’d said anything Kd Grace shot her hand up announcing to the room that she was a Porn Star – well she was, that was the drink she’d ordered. Lucy I do believe enjoyed her Screaming Orgasm and my What Women Want was delicious. That was just the beginning of an evening that made me laugh so much my cheeks ached.
The next evening – though there had been lots of giggles during the day – we were sitting in the bar opposite Sh! Having a much needed glass of wine and talk turned to anthologies. After the success of Seven Deadly Sins, our anthology that was born at last years Eroticon, we wondered about a new one. I think it was Lucy who suggested a Sex Sounds Anthology – genius – and with sudden inspiration I leapt up, hand in the air shouting ‘I’m having fanny farts’ (fanny means pussy in the UK). I hadn’t meant to bellow it with such enthusiasm or so loudly. The whole pub turned to me as I went red-faced, sat down and looked at the naughty, dirty authors around me who were laughing their sexy little butts off.
Oh, yes, Eroticon 2013 was many things, but for me, funny was the highlight
for me was when Ashley Lister read his outrageous poem, Betty and I, at the night of Aural Pleasure readings. I nearly fell of my seat laughing. The man had already taught a wonderful poetry class that had us all laughing and celebrating all the naughty things that can be done with words.
Cressida Downing’s examples of work in dire need of a good editor: the correct use of the term ‘baby batter’. Also I cannot resist nominating Janine Ashbless’ reading at “Aural Sex” and her visceral description of the flavour of troll cum: ‘like cold miso soup’.
One of the funniest moments of Eroticon that haven’t already been mentioned came in Kristina Lloyds workshop. I was using my sex machine and had inputed some great words to describe the smell of a woodland floor. However, these were revealed to be scents of a man. My guy ended up smelling of Mushrooms and cheese…so not sexy!