“Who are you?
Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies?
Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them?
I have. I am fucking crazy.
But I am free.”
― Lana Del Rey
All of my darkest fantasies?
The ones wriggled deep
Down into the soil
Of my soul.
The ones that I hold onto jealously.
That I won’t let out, not with any kind of encouragement.
Yeah, I’m in touch with them.
Can I experience them?
Now that’s a whole different question.
I have a life where it’s possible, dungeons and sex clubs and the kind of friends who’ll help a girl out.
If I could just get past the anxiety
And the doubts.
I think I could.
I mean, I have and I do, explore all kinds of fantasies.
Dark and dirty,
Nasty and pervy
And holy fucking shit so hot.
I’ve experienced things I honestly only ever thought I’d dream of
Or read about
But there is so much more left to do.
I want to cultivate a life where I can sow my seeds
And let my fantasies grow.
I want to try more,
I want to do more,
I want to challenge myself more.
Feel the fear and the ecstasy
Laugh and cry and come and scream until my throat is raw.
More. More. Even More.
To be free and crazy and fulfilled.
To find out where reality and fantasy overlap
I don’t want
to hold back any more.