Blissemas Day 3! All I want for Christmas is…blood? A Vampire Christmas @talksmut #blissemas2016 #amazingo


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So, Christmas means different things to different people and when I rewrote Stopping Point last year I had great fun expanding on what a Vampire Christmas might look like. So I thought I’d share an excerpt with you today but first, the blurb!




Josh is a vampire…he just doesn’t quite know it yet.

He is confused and his voluptuous sire, Cara is far too busy being mysterious to really help him unlock the secrets of his Afterlife. However, he pieces it together by himself and decides to turn his best mates into Vampires too. This doesn’t quite go to plan but he does discover The Point and its unique, ten-second rule.

Cara does not approve of Josh visiting The Point but that night she turns up at his door bloodied and much more dead than usual, and accepts Josh’s help to escape from her much older and much crazier Sire Leopold. How is Josh going to defeat an older, wiser and more powerful vampire? He hasn’t a clue but for Cara he is willing to find out.

Josh loved Christmas as a human so he’s convinced his vampire mates to join him for Christmas day….

“Merry Christmas, mate.” Kyle was first through the door Christmas evening with a bag full of presents and a foil covered plate in hand.

“Merry Christmas, whatcha got there?” Josh asked.

“Oh Gran insisted I bring you some leftovers when I said we weren’t eating. Turkey and stuffing and them little sausages in bacon, you know.”

“Ha, nice.” Josh laughed. “It’s a proper Christmas now with leftovers no one wants to eat. How’d you go on at dinner?”

“Not so bad. Forced some down and gave bits to the kids or the dog. No one noticed I wasn’t really eating.”

It was one of the many things Josh hadn’t thought of when changing his mates but that had lingered in his mind as he recovered. How would they break the news to their family and loved ones? It wasn’t an issue for Josh—he had no family left—but it must be pretty difficult to live within a family of humans as a vamp.

“So you’re not going to tell her?”

“No fucking way.” Kyle shook his head vigorously. “She’d have old Father whatshisface round with holy water and a crucifix before I could blink. No, it’s much better that she doesn’t know. Jesus, it’d kill her to know. I’ll just keep pretending, thanks.”

“Fair enough, dude.” Josh nodded and took the parcel of food they weren’t going to eat from his mate. He popped it in the fridge. He’d find some human to give it to, no use wasting it.

Steve arrived shortly after Kyle, complete with Santa hat.

“Ho, ho, ho, bitches!” he laughed.

“Had a good day?” Kyle asked, shaking his head.

“All right, I guess. Had to see Michelle’s family and that’s always fucking boring but I got a shag this morning so I can’t complain.”

Steve was as sexed up after life as he’d been during it. His vampire status was a godsend to him, hot chicks on tap and a need to fuck them. How long his surprising relationship with Michelle would last was a mystery. Josh expected him to be single again before long.

“What now then?” Cara asked. She was wearing the ruby red dress Kyle had given her that morning. Thank God for internet shopping. She’d loved the dress and the sentiment behind it.

It’s about time I came out of mourning and this dress is my favourite colour.

Christmassy too.” Josh had smiled.

It had been the perfect start to his first vampire Christmas day.

“Crackers,” Josh replied to Cara’s question.

“Mate, we know she is but that’s no way to address your bird on Christmas day of all days!” Steve laughed and Cara punched him playfully in the arm. Josh knew it was playful as Steve’s arm was still attached to his body afterwards.

“No, you pillock. Pull the crackers next, then we can wear our hats as we open our pressies.”

“Right, right, proper Christmas style. Jesus, Josh. We’re vampires. We don’t have to do this shit anymore.” Steve shook his head.

“No, we don’t have to do it, but I want to. I want to keep some traditions. When I was a kid I loved pulling the crackers, and wearing the hats. Nan’s would always be too big and end up round her neck. Dad would fall asleep with it on and it’d slowly slip off his head. I like remembering that stuff. How we’d all try on the silly fake moustache and play with the magic fish. It’s sentimental shit, yes, but it’s all I’ve got left of my family now.” Josh knew Steve would never understand why he was so enthusiastic about Christmas, but he wanted to try and explain how it made him feel connected to something that ended so long ago and he’d never experience again.

“Sorry, dude. Let’s get the crackers and get those stupid sodding hats on. We’ll make this the merriest fucking vampire Christmas ever.” Steve might have been cynical, but if he was going to do anything, he’d do it to the best of his ability.

“Like Miracle on 34th Street but with extra bloodshed.” Cara chuckled.

The magic fish experience wasn’t as entertaining with a group of vampires. All their fishes were completely flat.

“It’s a pretty accurate fortune teller, mind.” Kyle laughed. “It’s got us all pegged as dead ones and dead ones we are!”

It was really good to just have time with the people who mattered the most in his afterlife. They exchanged presents, Steve got him wicked new trainers, Kyle had put together a vampire kit for each of them with sunglasses, sun lotion and baseball caps—he’d always been the mumsy sort.

Cara had given him her gift the night before, or so he’d thought. But when the lads left, paper hats still on, Santa sacks of goodies in hand, Cara surprised Josh with a box.

“What’s this? I thought my dinner last night—”

“She was a part of my gift, yes. I wanted to give you something else though. It seems weird that a girlfriend’s only present to her partner was another woman. Even to a vampire that’s a bit crazy.” Cara spun a blonde lock of hair around her finger. Josh wasn’t accustomed to seeing her nervous so he was all the more intrigued to know what was in the box.

He opened it slowly, not just because his fingers were still stiff but they also shook with nerves.

“Do you like it?” Cara hovered behind him like an eager child waiting for approval of the picture they’d brought home from school.

“It’s amazing, Cara. And old.”

“Yeah, it was my dad’s.”

“What?” He nearly dropped the golden fob watch in surprise.

“My dad’s.”

“But, you can’t give that to me—I mean, it’s an heirloom. Is that the right word or is that a tomato?”

“It’s right—and it’s a tomato, too. But I want you to have it. It’s one of the only real things I own. One of the few things that I’ve had since I was a human.”

Josh looked down at the watch, tangled the chain in his fingers. He could feel the weight of the history in his hand.

“I…I…I really don’t know what to say. Are you sure about this?”

“Yes.” She leaned in and kissed Josh’s cheek. “And if you piss me off, I’ll explode you in a pile of dust and pick up Dad’s watch and dust it off. No harm done.”

“That’s what I love about you.” He laughed, pulling Cara into his embrace and kissing her passionately. “You’re so romantic.”