I love being part of the fetish scene in Manchester. It’s vibrant, it’s fun and the kinksters that are part of it are good people, many of whom I now count as friends. Last week a comment was made in a local newspaper in reference to a court appearance of someone who was once big on the scene. It was not complimentary. It was judgemental and I’m not going to give it any publicity or airtime. However, I feel the need to highlight how amazing the kink community is.
So with no further ado here are just 5 of the many reasons why I love the fetish/BDSM scene.
Me and hubby first dipped our toe into the scene just under 2 years ago. From the first moment we felt at home. I think it’s because all kinksters remember their first visits to munches, dungeons/BDSM clubs etc and know how brave you need to be to step through the door that first time. It’s not just welcoming to newbies either. It’s welcoming to people of all shape, size, colour, sexuality and ability.
Consent is MASSIVELY important in the fetish world. Because kinksters are very aware of this in their play it overspills into all their relationships. So people will ask consent to sit next to you or hug you for example. It’s wonderful to see such consideration.
It’s not a forced thing at all, either. We don’t spend our time asking for consent for everything from everyone. But any significant interaction between individuals is prefaced with a conversation about consent. It is one of the things that makes me feel so safe within this community.
Your Kink is not My Kink But that’s okay. These are words you hear quite often on the scene. Obviously we’re not all into the same thing. Some people’s kinks are other people’s idea of sheer hell. But people with various kinks, who play at different levels generally co-exist in the same space quite happily. Because there is a respect for other kinksters.
Maybe it comes from being part of a community that is seen as ‘weird’ or ‘extreme’ or even ‘deviant’ we become more tolerant of each other ‘cos we know it’s not easy being different. Again, it might be part of the heightened awareness of consent within the scene and it might just be that kinksters are more laid back about sex and pleasure play.
It’s truly beautiful though, to see such acceptance in practise.
You might find this strange, considering the amount of beating and torturing that goes on in the BDSM scene. However, I see kindness throughout our community.
I’ve seen a few instances where a sub has dropped after a session and as their Dom dives into aftercare other people around jump up to help by offering blankets, sweets, drinks. By providing plasters or scissors or other first aid equipment or advice. It’s warming to see such love being shown in moments of great vulnerability.
There are people who happily share their kit with others, there are people who offer lifts to events to help those who don’t have their own transport. There are folks who will sit a while with a new person and just chat even though they have partners and play plans to indulge in.
Safety is sexy. It’s a mantra I’ve heard left right and centre within the community. Safety is a great concern within the Fetish scene. A lot of play (BDSM play especially) comes with risk. Being aware of these risks and minimising any that could lead to permanent injury or worse is extremely important.
It’s not just safety in impact or bondage play either. There is a culture of safe sex and consent (as already mentioned) that makes sure all interactions are risk-limited. It also stretches to cleaning up after a scene. Wiping down surfaces before others play, cleaning implements and covering up any scratches or skin punctures you might have received/given out.
I’m very proud to be part of the local fetish scene. If you’re interested/curious about it then when not visit our very first Smut Market. It’s just like any other craft fair you’ve been too but with a kinky twist. You’ll be able to buy everything from lingerie and corsets to vibrators and handcuffs. Beginners and newbies are welcome. Join us at Miss T’s in Hazel grove on the 10th February from 1-5pm. From 6pm there is the afterparty with food, drink and opportunities to see Miss T’s play rooms in use. You could even join in yourself if you like or just enjoy the chat and laughter in the social room.
If you’re interested in the fetish scene but not really ready quite yet for real life interaction then check out Fetish.com, a dating site and online kink community with a forum and chat rooms where you can find folks interested in the same kinks as you.