It’s coming up on my 2 year kinkaversary. I was never very vanilla, that’s true but when we went to our first play event at a dungeon 2 years ago I found out something I’d only ever suspected.
It’s a story I’ve told before, but my first visit to Miss T’s was an eye opener. I realised just how much I enjoy and revel in pain. I’m a masochist. That was an amazing revelation which has opened up a whole exciting and fulfilling world of fun to me. But recently, I’ve really discovered the beauty of my masochism.
My masochism helps me cut through all the self doubts that peck at my head. Do you know what? I find my beauty in the patterns of the bruises on my flesh. I can be hard on myself, I see all the flaws before I see my beauties but when I am covered in marks I become a proud peacock. Not just proud of the marks, but proud of the canvas they are on.
I mean, I now regularly show photos of my arse to people on the internet, hell, I regularly show my bottom to people I’ve just met at various kink events. I have no shame when I’m showing off the pretty patterns that get drawn on my flesh. It’s not just bruises from beatings, either. Wrap me in chain, decorate me with rope, staple me, needle me, cover me in cups. I will show off this body when my masochist is engaged.
And slowly but surely, I’m being more loving of my body at all times. I’m calling my belly cute, Admiring the size and pear drop shape of my breasts and loving the thickness of my thighs. Whenever negative thoughts creep in, I remember how beautiful I look covered in marks and that reminds me that the canvas is perfect in it’s own right too.
This post is part of The Beauty of a Woman BlogFest VII! To read more entries, and potentially win a fun prize, visit the fest page on August’s McLaughlin’s site between today and 11pm PST March 9th.
Your marks are tangible symbols of love, affection, and acceptance. I get it. Why shouldn’t you wear your badges with pride. They were given to you with your happiness in mind. Go you!
Your acceptance is clear as is your joy in being who you are. I think we are here to explore the human experience and that means “loving the canvas,” too.
Such gorgeous self and body embracement, Victoria! Thanks so much for bringing it to the fest.
Such a great post – hurray for self-acceptance, in whatever form it occurs xxx
I admire your willingness to accept yourself the way you are with everything that’s part of you. Your love to yourself, your body and your masochism. This is true strength.
I’ve never looked at it this way – but this is a beautiful path to self and body acceptance. May you have a lifetime of lovely marks, and all they represent.
I’m so happy that you’re cutting through your self doubts and being more loving of your body! Silencing our negative, inner self-talk is no easy task! I’m constantly working on it. Your marks are a sign of your love and a powerful sign of how well you know yourself and are willing to go after what you want. I admire that :)