10th May 2016 - Pleasure in Pain - 35 Comments

Finding the Pleasure in Pain at Miss Ts #BDSM #Dungeon #selfdiscovery @TalkSmut


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Spanking Bench Selfie!

I discovered something on Friday that I’d suspected for the longest time. I really like pain. I’ve always been curious about it, look back at my books over the years and you’ll find many that involve spanking, submission and dominance, but I’ve not had much practical experience.

If you’re freaked out by details of a personal nature back out now because we’re heading  into my sexual secrets, desires I’ve only recently really admitted I’ve had. Content will be pretty damn NSFW and there will be photos of marks on my flesh. So you’ve been warned.

I should have known I had a longing for pain when the first story I ever wrote was about a spanking. It was based on a dream I had and you can thank my gorgeous husband for it ever being written. I drove that desire into my writing for a long time. But if I’m honest, the desire has been in me for a lot longer than that. There were fantasies I had from the moment I started fantasizing that included pain and dominance.

Kev has always known this and we’ve played around with dominance and submission and in doing so have discovered we’re both  capable of giving and taking pain quite happily. It has always been just playing, just a little extension of our fantasies…but then things changed.

There was a catalyst, as is often the case, and suddenly I was face to face with kink in a way I’d never been before. From a single strike with a crop at an Alternative and Burlesque fair  a new world opened up to me. I visited Club Lash and saw things that amazed and terrified me in the most exciting of ways. It wasn’t just authorly curiosity, although that was and is a big part of things.

Hubby and I started investing in implements. Floggers, crops, paddles. A pretty collar for me and started to use them – with intent. Nothing too intense but we played around with boundaries. Slowly and surely my confidence grew. It’s been 18 months of pushing boundaries. You’ll have seen some of it through my blog here. I’ve been gaining confidence, believing in myself more. I’ve been freer.

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Crop Fun at ETO 2015

I wrote Something Brave as a mirror to what I was experiencing. It is fiction, Felicity and Sir are made up characters but there is a core of real truth in the story that makes it especially special to me. And like Felicity I’ve discovered my kinky side almost by accident but unlike Felicity it has taken a long time to act on it.

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Friday, I acted on it. Kev and I are always eager to make contact with sex positive, friendly venues with a view to holding Smut events there. It’s how we’ve discovered MARS and now also Miss Ts.

Miss Ts is relatively local to us, Stockport based and is run by a professional Domme, Mistress Tilly. The space is available for hire and we’d heard lots of good things about it. So we decided to attend an event to see what it’s like. I was so nervous in the run up. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I knew a few people who would be there, which was comforting but I was still anxious. I think everything through to the nth degree and something new is always a bit scary. So I imagined all kinds of terrible things…and I’m glad to report I was just over thinking.

Miss Ts is in a really accessible location – but me and Kev missed it on our first sweep so thank goodness we met Panda of Love Me Spank Me fame outside as we wandered about a little bit lost and she showed the way. Mistress Tillly was lovely too and she welcomed us warmly.  Miss T’s is  large, light and spacious. Not at all what you might expect from a dungeon. Which I think is a good thing. We settled in the social area on a comfy sofa and chatted to a few people. There were folks there I knew and new folks who were very chatty. There was a very interesting conversation about trampolining Shibari that had me in stitches. I always find it’s a good sign when I’m giggling like a loon after a matter of minutes of being somewhere new.

There were no demands, you could go where you wanted when you wanted. It was so friendly and welcoming. All the good things we had heard were clearly true. It was only when Sensei turned up that Kev and I headed into the dungeon. That guy has a habit of leading us into temptation. We watched things for a while, chatted and laughed (there was a lot of laughing) and then, when a pretty spanking bench became free Kev and I looked at each other and agreed to have a go.

And it was as simple and complex as that. 18 months of thinking, dipping in toes, trying and not quite making it was over in a moment.

I’m not going to give you a blow by blow, I couldn’t. I got hit that often I couldn’t tell you a figure or even recall all the different implements used. We’d taken some of our own favourite spanky things but Kev borrowed some of Miss T’s Kit and some of Sensei’s extensive collection of pain inflicting implements as well.  And  I experienced pain on a level I hadn’t before. At the mercy of an array of paddles, floggers, whips, crops and canes, I’d only ever imagined before.

Kev was the  main instigator  of my  pain and I’m glad. He is wicked but his specialty is hurting me in just the way I like. He’s attuned to my pleasure and that is always fun. But there was another implement wielder who’d pop over, slap me hard with something then walk away again, Sensei is a bad, bad man – it’s one of his best features I think!

So I, Victoria Blisse, 37 year old author, mother and constant worrier was bent over, bare cheeked and being hit by two incredibly gorgeous guys who were enjoying it immensely. It was euphoric and as surreal as it seems looking back and writing it out, at the time it seemed completely normal. I think that was in part because other people joined in too. Not in a hands on way but there were calls from others around, mostly focused on how much I was enjoying myself because I kept giggling. It was encouraging, made me feel part of things. There was a sense of community between people who know the joys in power play.

What was it like? I could write pages and pages on this and I wouldn’t be able to capture it precisely. I certainly can’t tell you what takes the agony over into ecstasy but I can tell you, for me, that pain is pleasurable. There were so many sensations from thin and stingy – the dressage whip was both of those and the whooshing sound before impact was a delight in itself. There was hard and thumpy – Sensei’s wooden paddle was thumpy, our rubber paddle was thumpy. There were combinations of the two like the studded paddle which thudded but hit with sharp stings where the studs were.

I didn’t take all of my hits at once. I got some, then had a break, then more, and a break etc etc.  The pain in my bum changed lots. From being on fire, to feeling like I had a hot water bottle strapped to it. At one point my skin felt like it was pulled tight like a skin of a drum and I remember vividly standing quite innocently chatting away and suddenly feeling a stabbing pain in the centre of my left buttock just like someone was poking me there HARD. But no one was. The varying sensations were fascinating .

And I was far braver, far cockier than I thought I would be. When Sensei asked ‘Do you want the kendo cane?’ I answered ‘Yes, I do.’ before my brain could catch up. The Kendo was wide bamboo (2 inches wide I’d say) varnished and filled with led shot. Sensei loves his Kendos and had broken one already, this was his temporary replacement.

I was hit with it three times and I knew it. The impact was body shaking. But I took it and I could have taken more (don’t tell Sensei that) but as it was, I couldn’t have because he broke the kendo cane on my butt. Yep, it split. So Kev doesn’t call me iron butt for no reason!

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Sensei showing me the broken cane

And the pain wasn’t just in the hitting, there was the sitting too. On a very cold, wooden school chair. Skirt up. Mean, mean, mean.

 

Ouch Faces!

I also tried something that has fascinated me for a while. A violet wand. Oh, I like electricity and it likes me. I laughed a lot at first, I mean, laughed. Loudly, deeply, uncontrollably. That laughter in itself was freeing and I heard echoing laughs and giggles all around as people fed off my joy.  I was never really hurt by it, though it got intense and at points I felt like my skin was being split by a lazer…but it was pleasant, I can’t describe how. It was a blanket of pleasure with pinpricks of pain, it was delightful. I know Kev enjoyed watching the sparks play over my skin too.  I didn’t get the name of the lovely gent who demonstrated the lovely thing for me but I must say a huge thank you. I loved having my spine stroked the most I think but the hair brushing was amazing too.

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Violet Wand Marks – like Sunburn but Sexy

I couldn’t get enough, so when Kev suggested trying out the other spanking bench on the other side of the room I happily acquiesced. And I got some hand spanking, from Kev’s very own, very capable, very sexy hands and some evil fucking things (excuse my language) hand shaped and made of wood that strap onto the hand and make the impact all the ouchier. And that made me all the happier. It was fun, it was sexy as hell and it was loving. What an amazing combination.

This blog is focusing in on how I’ve discovered I like pain but I must mention that I dealt out some pain too. Kev wanted to feel some of the implements, so I acquiesced. I do love making him flinch, wince or make a noise. I enjoy watching him wiggle and I love seeing marks appear on his flesh. It really is sweet revenge.  Sensei let me use his yobi (a 3 foot long whip) and showed me how to hit with it…that I liked. The crack is delightful. I didn’t leave as much damage on Kev as he did on me but I will hopefully rectify that the next time!

And talking of the yobi,I discovered something hugely surprising to me,I like being whipped. I mean, seriously like it. Sensei took to using the yobi on me for a while, and from measured strikes, a little while apart he moved to strikes quickly together over and over and ooooooooooh Blissed out Blisse.

And then, when I thought my afternoon of pain was done I flippantly threw a comment at Sensei  (not expecting a reaction at all) but to get at some information I withheld from him he persuaded me in a way only Sensei could  – with a whip. A 5 ft bull whip to be precise.  I wasn’t sure I’d take even one hit from it (I thought he’d use the yobi, I was used to that but no, he’s wicked) as it looked and sounded mean  but  I did take it, quite well in fact, I think.  Second stroke hurt a bit more and then the third stung as it intersected the strike that preceded it.

“Are you going to tell me now?”

“Not yet, Sir, no.” I replied. Again, I swear my mouth worked before my brain could catch up. I got a couple more strikes before I gave up the info. And I ended up with some very interesting marks.vbmisstsmattmark605450

Some of Sensei’s whip marks, moments after they were made

It was an amazing afternoon. Miss T’s is a wonderful place, with a wonderfully positive atmosphere and lots of lovely, kinky people who were friendly and embracing. I had an amazing time. Want to find out when the next event will be? Then check out Miss T’s Fetlife Profile. If you want to see more of my marks then check out my Victoria Blisse Fetlife profile. You might even find out which country one of my bum bruises looks like. You might!

And just like that, within a few hours one Friday afternoon, my life changed. I ache, I sting, I hurt and it’s amazing.

I can’t wait for more.

 

 

 

 

35 responses to “Finding the Pleasure in Pain at Miss Ts #BDSM #Dungeon #selfdiscovery @TalkSmut”

  1. Im so glad you enjoyed your time at Miss T’s. One of the reasons Miss T’s came into existence was so that new people could discover their kinks in a friendly, inclusive and non judgemental atmosphere.

  2. Thank you so much for sharing this Victoria, it sure made for an interesting read – I had no idea such places existed except in books! lol xx

  3. PinkGilly15 says:

    Omg I love this so brave but so great to try this out on this level . Will get bk on my fetlife

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