40 spanks for my birthday doesn’t sound a lot. On its own, I guess it’s not. But when you throw open the invite to all the meanies at the party, that number increases tenfold. And Suddenly, it’s a bit more daunting.

I felt nervous, that kind of excitement tinged with ‘WTF have I let myself in for?’ that lays heavy in the bottom of your stomach. But I was reassured by several things.

Firstly, I had the very capable KoldKrycek on hand with a bottle of water and my inhaler. His presence was very reassuring.

All the meanies were busy digging out their implements of choice but many asked what I’d like or picked items they knew I loved or chose based on what other implements were in use, to give me variety.

Lovely LittleSnowflake offered to warm me up with her coconut rope flogger, which as everyone was wielding serious weaponry, I was very grateful for.

The first meanie to the plate was Lookin with a walking stick. Yup, that was the first implement, the warming up didn’t last long. The thick, thumpy cane certainly heated up my butt though. Especially as Lookin’s aim was very, very precise. I was quite relieved when the 40 hits were over.

That’s when the wonderful Jayne_pain came in with her fans, to cool my heated seat. She also suggested taking photos after every set of strikes. LittleSnowflake was on it. I’m glad too, as I got to see the progression of the beating in the end.

People asked what I wanted next, I wanted thumpier. So ric_jh stepped up with the cricket bat. Now, to be fair, he did offer me other options. But you know, in for a penny, in for a pound and all that.

The cricket bat is wonderful. I mean it’s hard, it’s thuddy and it hurts but it hurts so very good. I got hit with both sides, the back of it dug deep and vibrated through me. I enjoyed my 40 immensely. But I can tell you looking in the mirror in front of me and seeing Ric casually standing with the cricket bat over his shoulder was terrifying.   There was a little discussion about continuing as there was a wee bit of blood brought out by said bat. But the meanies were happy to continue.

Why the hell they let V-Breaker Animal go next I don’t know. But there we are. He started out with the alligator tail. It’s evil. Stingy, slappy and the pain lasts.  Just one hit with that fucker and the whole room fell silent. People were gathered round, watching on. Conversations were murmuring around but that hit, silenced everyone. It was eerie how quiet it got. All I could hear were my cries. After 10 of the alligator, on came the crocodile tail. As stingy as the alligator but with a deeper thud that makes the impact shudder all the way through me. 10 of those had me wondering what the hell he was gonna use next.

The mango paddle. I shook my head. My heart jumped. That innocuous thing is cruel. And in Animal’s hand it was wicked. He hit hard. I was rocking from side to side and praying for the 10 to be over. I was also wondering what he had picked for the last 10. Of course, it was the oak paddle.

Now, the oak paddle broke me the last time I played with Animal. It hurts in a way that busts my brain. However, I do like to try things a couple of times before making judgement. One strike had me up on my feet.  I had to take a minute before climbing back on the spanking bench. Strike 2 had me up on my feet again and seriously contemplating letting him hit me again. Especially as there was definite blood on the paddle.

I got back on and the third, the hardest hit was the last one. I couldn’t take it anymore. And It became obvious why. He broke my butt again. Blood everywhere.

At this point nurse Jayne took over looking after me. She cleaned me up as we talked about continuing. It was decided there was a clear buttock and the back of my thighs still to use. So I stayed put. Jayne painted on some liquid plaster to stem the pain. That stung, but it seemed to help. She had to reapply it a few times. Animal really broke me.

He wasn’t allowed to hit me anymore. He had 7 hits still to go. But he had to wait to take those. Little Snowflake took her turn next, concentrating on the left buttock and the tops of my thighs. She used a meat tenderizer, which was deep and penetrating, a small hitty bat that was stingy and thumpy and a knuckle duster tenderiser which was the perfect balance of stingy and punchy. I liked all those implements very much.

By this point spaceyness was setting in. Lovely KoldKrycek kept asking me if I needed water (I requested my inhaler at one point too, I don’t remember when) and I really appreciated it because each time he asked, I realised I did. But I hadn’t thought to articulate that. Funnily enough, a dry mouth was not forefront in my mind. My arse was on fire, and as my left cheek joined in with the bleeding thing, it was down to just thighs.

Cute-as-Sin had the cutest paddle. A lil’ baby whale. It is cruel. All the cruel. Biting, slappy, evil and wicked. Against the sides of my thighs, up and down, that damn thing had me close to tears. Especially when used to chop on the thin sides. She got a ‘nonononononono’ out of me as her aim is incredibly accurate and one spot on my left side had had enough. She moved the other strikes around and I survived. Bless her, she came to check in on me. And I (hope) reassured her it was all good. Just not in that one spot. I wasn’t the most articulate.

I think it was about this time that BalletBunny came in to stroke me. Do you know, those touches really made a difference. Jayne’s fanning, BalletBunny’s strokes, KoldKrycek ‘s offer of water and the words of care from the assembled meanies, filled me with warmth and love and joy and kept me going.

After another care break, Jayne making sure my wounds were looked after, up stepped Prince Avalon who talked to me first. He told me he was going to just hit the thighs and asked if I wanted lighter and fast or harder and slow. Or words to that effect.

“I do better with slower.” I replied.

“Well, you chose it.” He rubbed the bottom of my back with his hand and settled it there. I did a double take. But I do prefer slow. I like to have time to process. Yes, fast can be fun at times, but I much prefer slow and steady…I totally forget to breathe with fast.

Prince Avalon Used his paddle with purpose first. Damn, I love it, but damn it is brutal. Hard and deep and stingy and on my thighs, more penetrating and jarring than on my fleshier butt. I could feel each strike vibrating through me. I could feel the bruises bloom. And with only a short pause, he swapped to the club, and there were intakes of breath and ‘wow, look at that’ type comments all around. It is evil and foreboding and vicious. I love it.

The strikes dig deep and I know them, with an awed familiarity that is soothing and disturbing at once. A horrifyingly beautiful paradox. The last few hits were killing me. I don’t know if he hit harder, he did hit faster and I knew, I knew, there would be lasting bruises from those bone shaking hits.

SubtleSlate had picked out a metal cane. Heavy, thumpy, cold and stingy. I’ve met it before and I like it’s wickedness. She asked if she could hit my feet, I said she could but warned I may tell her to fuck off after a few hits.

I didn’t. I kinda liked it. I haven’t had much on my feet before but the sharp, precise hits bloomed pain through me and I loved it. Though I was glad when she moved to my thighs after a time because the strikes were falling very close together, obviously, there’s only so much space to hit, and it was getting overwhelming.

The cane on the thighs was refreshing at first, after all the thuddy thumping of the last few goes but it soon hit excruitiatingly painful. Ow. Ow. Ow. Just ow. It was good ow but I was so relieved when it was done.

And that’s where I called a cake break. I couldn’t take any more. I needed to move, to shake out the pain and get some sugar in me. I’d baked a cake. So cut, sliced and handed out to friends before stuffing a slice in my own face. It was just what I needed.

I was checked on several times and, was glad for the care. Jayne repainted the liquid plaster on my broken bits in preparation for sitting down. The rest of the hits were going to my front. Boobs and thighs. She even gave me a puppy pad to sit on. She looked after me so very well. Top notch nurse.

I told Animal he could have his last 7 hits on my front. My God, his face lit up as he decided what evil implements to use. I was glad to be so entertaining. There was snuggles with the lovely @MaenadofDionysus who was busy encouraging meanness for the entire time I was beaten. She is a most evil encourager. No wonder I love her so.

I tried to move the chair to sit my ass down in, but I had not an ounce of energy to do so. So I let the meanies move it. I sat down on my puppy pad (a little bit of fun humiliation happened right there) and ow. It was the first time I’d tried to sit. Sitting hurt. The butt and the thighs all protested.  The gathered sadists appreciated my pain. They were all grinning.

First up was MissTillysue. I let her have a few extra strokes to warm me up. Which she made the most of. She was using a particularly evil whippy rubbery thing with several thin rubber ends. It was all sting. Pure sting. Every hit was like a papercut and every hit gave me several of those ‘papercut’ impacts all at once. And the pain lasted and swelled and within moments I was questioning my sanity.

Especially on the hits that got my nipples. Yeowzers.

Animal was dancing around in anticipation but I told him he had to wait ‘til the end. Just in case he broke me again.

Maenad gave me options. So I took the thuddy venator paddle first. I had my fill of pure sting. I love the venators. I had forgotten just how brutal they feel on my breasts. She took 5 hits on each and there were instant, blooming bruises. The next hits went to my front thighs. Yeah, the hits were just as penetrating and brutal there too. I thought I’d had enough of sting but I couldn’t take any more of the deep penetrating venator. So I chose the thick, plastic (delrin?) cane.

I seriously love/hate canes. They left amazing marks on my boobs and my thighs but the strokes stung and ached so deeply.

Little Snowflake got a second go, as @Ali-Puppy nominated her to take his for him as he was rather tied up. I was a little blurry by this point. I remember a bat being waved at me and scaring the crap out of me, but I know she used more than just that on me but I can’t for the life of me think what. My brain was gone.

They went to ask Kev if he wanted his hits, but he said Animal could go first. So Animal leapt into action.  First came 2 strikes with a wide, leather prison strap to the boobs. It hurt, greatly but I knew there was going to be just one strike to each breast so I could deal.

It was the long, leather I want to say tawse that filled me with most fear. It was going across my thighs 5 times. And yes. It hurt. It was deep and thuddy and very stingy and Animal didn’t hold back. Except the one time he did, he wound up as if to hit and then didn’t. Bloody sadist. That was the worst moment of the whole thing.  I had tensed for nothing. And when the hit came it was bone crunching.

At this point the lovely Amberler came in to offer comfort. In the form of boobs. She has super comforting boobs. Being snuggled there did make me feel better.

Conversation turned (with the help of Maenad, of course!) to bits that needed filling in and suddenly there was a Ric with a lil’ bastard stick and there was filling in.  And Sue took over and filled in more…and I was held in Amberler’s bosom and I was glad of that support.

Koldkrycek was doing his job too, keeping me topped up with water. Drinking that gave me chance to breathe and recover too.

Anyhow, Animal was sulking. Because apparently the left boob hadn’t marked as satisfyingly as the right. So, what did I do? I gave him an extra hit. That moment there, that moment proved to me that I’m not wired up right. That this masochistic brain needs feeling. Why oh why did I give him more?

He hit hard, I screamed, he was satisfied. And I felt better for that. Yep, totally bonkers that’s me.

KevBlisse was the last meanie. He took one strike with my new birthday baseball bat to my thighs (I couldn’t take more) then used the new leather studded heart paddle to finish off his numbers. This is where Maenad got helpful again. Suggesting my underboob could be hit and then holding up said boob so Kev could hit it. He hit fast and I know he hit more than 40 times.

But when it was suggested my left underboob needed hitting to even it out…I just said no. Nuh-uh. I was done in.

The collected meanies and the very lovely KoldKrycek stood around me. As I lay in my battered stupor. Maenad ran to get me a blanket, in fact Amberler lent me her very toasty warm shawl. Maenad tucked it in for me. Kev stroked my arm and my forehead.  People asked me questions, asked me if I needed anything, if I was okay.

Maenad wanted to keep my feet warm, she got my clothes and wrapped them round. I said

“As long as they’re off the floor it’s okay.” And Ric mentioned how much he wanted to pickup the spike board from the St Andrews for me to stand on. But he wasn’t that mean, just mean enough to tell me he’d thought about it.

I know Miss T was around, Animal too, PrinceAvalon and I think SubtleSlate. They huddled round and I felt protected. I apologise to anyone else was there, I really was completely zoned out by this point. But all of you there, made me feel loved and safe, and cherished.

I nodded in the chair as 2 new beatings started. The thuds and whacks and sighs and moans were weirdly soothing. I listened, smile on my face.

I was well beaten. Black and blue, red and pink and I ached. Oh, I ached so much. And I couldn’t have been happier. I couldn’t have felt more peaceful, more at home or more loved.

My birthday party was the perfect Masochist’s birthday gift.

Thank you to everyone who was there and made it such a success.

And I’ve not even told you about the amazing surprise present I got…but I’ll save that for another writing on another day.