28th January 2016 - Genesis of a Dom - 13 Comments

The Diary of V Bruce: Dominance and Decorum #BDSM


genofvbruce

The dynamic between a sub and a Dom is rather an interesting one. Many believe falsely— mostly thanks to a certain novel I will not name— that it is the Dom that calls the shots, I will however try to dispel this illusion and explain how my Dom/sub arrangements have started in the past.

When meeting a sub for the first time I suggest we meet in a public place, generally for coffee, to talk about what the situation as it stands is. Once relaxed and happily sipping her coffee I’ll explain all the information she will need to know and explain what my life style is like. Allowing for her to fill the gaps in conversation so I can learn more about her. Then— and here comes the important thing –I ask what she wants from us meeting. From this point onwards I am but a passenger able to answer questions and state my thoughts on certain topics but she dictates the conversation. A flip from the perceived what a Dom is like isn’t it, I’m silent and attentive the whole time.

cuffs

The hard limit question is raised and I note down what I can’t do and can do with the sub and most importantly the safe word she has chosen. World famous Doms and Dommes will all agree, we may administer pleasure and punishment but that’s only because they allow us to do so. From myself to Zara DuRose real dominants know they will be required to know their sub inside and out whilst playing.

Rules to a Dom are like a bible to a priest inflexible and set in stone. If you and your sub or you and your Dom have created these rules to play and have a relationship by to break them is to destroy a trust and vow that to many is sacred.

Thus I say to any wannabe Mr Greys out there, please speak with a Dom who’s had many years in the scene and/or industry before starting out. Let them guide you and explain to you how to behave and the level of decorum and respect required. We don’t mind, we would rather explain it than let someone get hurt.

Play safe and have another kinky fortnight. I’ll be back next time with a Diary exert that will make you blush 50 shades of Red.

13 responses to “The Diary of V Bruce: Dominance and Decorum #BDSM”

  1. Phaedra says:

    Great explanation of a Dom and sub I have read several books and I am shocked by what some explain as the correct way. He has the right idea. Sharing.

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