5th February 2015 - Genesis of a Dom - 46 Comments

Genesis of A Dominant Man – The Dominant Point of View



My posts tend to be a snippet of my diary, exploits of my past that nowadays I’m fine about sharing. For a change I thought I may just write about my view on the fetish world as it stands right now, an open point now this is my opinion and shouldn’t be taken as gospel.

The Fifty Shades phenomenon as people have referred to it has revolutionised the fetish industry in no way at all, the fetish industry has always been strong and had a reliable and loyal following. What’s changed? Well people are more open about their kinks and fetishes, the vanilla slice has started to buy more fetish items and experiment. And the shock articles stating we’ve kinked our way out of the recession by buying fetish items and boosting the shares of Ann Summers tenfold. But in regards to the fetish industry it’s changed nothing and in regards to the writers of erotica no doubt it has sullied the image they portray.


For one the image of Christian Grey has ruined what a Dom actually is and as regards the relationship between this ‘Dom’ and his ‘sub’ it’s plain and simple a manipulative and abusive relationship. If the writer had taken time to research the simple Dom/sub arrangement then she may have stumbled upon the fact it’s an arrangement of mutual respect. So when I inform a person (they are lucky if I do) that I am in fact a Dom (always liked the title‘Dominus) and they pronounce “Oh like Fifty Shades of Grey?” I have to restrain myself from the level of bile I want to project that persons way.


The fetish world is a beautiful thing. It has many forms and caters to all types whether you’re into the darker more depraved things or just a gentle spanking every now and again. The events such as Club Lash at the Bangkok bar in Manchester are a great way to explore and also there is fetlife online where people are more than happy to help and events are organised. But it’s all down to you.Is yours a private kink or a public one? Both of these are legitimate and neither is better than the other after all some people are reserved about their sex lives or interests.


The fetish world is large and its population is ever growing so even if it’s just to sate your curiosity dive on in believe me it’s worth it.

What’s your thoughts on the fifty shades phenomena and what comes to mind when you hear the word ‘fetish’?




46 responses to “Genesis of A Dominant Man – The Dominant Point of View”

  1. Phaedra says:

    a differ point of view love it

  2. Charmaine Butler says:

    I agree that it’s always been there but I must confess I barely knew anything before 50 shades, although I enjoyed the books when I read them I have found much better material and can see the flaws in the story now. I believe the books have just made people more open and exposed those like me to a world they never knew about. To me the word fetish used to have an ugly meaning but I’m starting to explore and see that it was a lack in knowledge and understanding. I can see how some people want there kinks to be hidden and that’s fine by me. I’m not going to start posting mine everywhere lol. I think it’s more important for people to admit to themselves that they have the kinks then anything else. Great post and thanks for your time.

  3. Karen Shenton says:

    I think the most positive thing to come from 50 Shades is that it has allowed more people to embrace the kinks that they enjoy and to accept that it is ‘ok’. It has enabled them to voice the desires that they previously kept quiet about to their partners and now indulge in them to enhance their sexual pleasure. That’s just my opinion though.

  4. Alison Greig says:

    First off Fifty got me back into reading again – after having spent nearly 7 years reading children’s books – was too tired to read anything else. It opened my eyes to ‘kinks’ and ‘fetishes’ and I sought out more books with a BDSM theme – I have to say I found many more that portray the lifestyle a helluva lot better and more truthfully (many written by our very own Brit Babes). The word fetish was almost alien to me – you thought of a weirdo licking shoes or wearing bizarre looking clothes – now I realise it is lifestyle that you either like to share with other folk or keep to yourself – either way is fine with me. I look forward to your blog posts – you tell it like it is!

  5. I waiver from being thankful for the 50 shades phenomena to being more than just a little cheesed off by it myself. As an erotica author it now gives me an way into conversations about what I write. “You know that 50 shades of Grey? Yeah, I write books like that, but better.” It tends to get a laugh.
    But then it’s also sullied, in my opinion, erotica too because there’s so many ‘X number of shades of…’ books trying to cash in on it all and so much material has hit and flooded the market that it’s harder for readers to find good Erotica.
    As regards to ‘Fetish’ I’ve seen the word and used it lots since becoming an author and have seen many aspects of it, written about many of them infact. It can be seen as quite a scary word, a scary world in fact, but I’ve found the fetish community to be a happy, friendly place full of people who AREN’T afraid of sex and sexuality and who celebrate it and revel in it.
    Thanks again for your insightful post!

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